maria mison: integrated awakenings

we like to frame quotes of being as infinite as the “galaxy and the stars” but we can have a mental fascination of that idea instead of actually experiecing that infinity/eternity.
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What is Really You can never be destroyed. You are Eternal and ever-present. Grief is an ever present spinning clack of the wheel turning and creaking and churning. But you are not the groan but the whole wheel mechanism itself. There is no ending You. What is flowing is simply water, movement, an ebbing dance of what is perceived as “loss”. Recession, this job or that. The perception of a solidity of identity or relationship. False perception. Trying to, attempting to freeze-clingwrap-hold a point of a moment when the only Moment is Now, and it’s a sphere and its rolling with infinite gravity both sun and a (black)hole. Stop holding on so shallowly, stop perceiving yourself as that small.
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You were that thing but also more. You are the innoncence of that thing that hasnt been born (forward AND back) You’re the creaking fermentation process understanding of what’s going on? Confusion. Trust issues with myself. Am I willing to like and look at myself? Interrogation. Spinning and exhaustion. Stillness and sudden dancing. See? You already sound like an infinite galaxy. Grief is only stale and ugly when the movement is unTrue. The only thing that can die is what was too small to fit You.
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Die into yourself. Make sure to include every color. See what you’re really made of. Not just the mineral burning friction uncomfortable, but also the blistering stars, firework cackling. Energy bustling in and out. Birthing dying crying fucking ecstaticking. Hold your grief, sure. But in the wholeness of you, the heart of Eternity. noticed and revealed. you are embraced by All that is. There only is, ever, All that is.
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Tense up less now. the parts that were True never really dies. Find out your blistering infinity. Find out yourself, dont buy a single word i say for cross stitch macrame. Let go now. 
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Let go.